I loved being pregnant. After the first trimester’s sickness wore off, I really enjoyed being pregnant and feeling the little life inside me. What a miracle. What an honor! I would regularly sing while pregnant and feel the kicks in response to music and songs and I remember thinking “Wow, what a privilege.”    The little life inside me brought joy whenever I thought of her. Yes, we found out our baby was a girl two weeks before Christmas. The sonogram technician checked everything and then asked if we wanted to know the gender. We said we wanted to know and then she said that it looked most definitely like a girl. Tears filled my eyes. God was giving us a little girl to love?? Joy filled my heart once again and I knew everything was going to be okay.

In February, Ryan and I traveled to Virginia to visit family and have two amazing baby showers- one from Ryan’s family and one from Ryan’s church family. These were huge blessings to us since we were in a new place in Indiana and didn’t expect a baby shower there. However, a couple we met from Costco did throw us a small baby shower and we were so humbled and thankful for the support. I was overwhelmed by the love and support of the families in Indiana that we had just known a few short months.  We also flew to California in March when I was about 32 weeks pregnant to see family.  Being able to be with family on the beach was a dream come true and I’m so grateful for that time. We also celebrated my 28th birthday while there.

During my whole pregnancy I was small. Even at 6 months people could hardly tell I was even pregnant. I didn’t think much of it because I’m not a big person to begin with…..

….. This is the beginning part of my story that I have a hard time writing down and reliving. But I really feel like God is compelling me to share this story. I still don’t know why exactly but I want to be brave and obedient……

Like I said, I loved being pregnant and really had an easy pregnancy. There were no complications, no bed rest, no extreme discomfort. I was very blessed to have had such a wonderful experience carrying my first child. I had two ultrasounds my entire pregnancy. One when I was 10 weeks along to determine how far along I was and one at 22 weeks to determine the baby’s gender. At both ultrasounds, everything looked great. I refused all testing. Ryan and I felt like it was irrelevant to test for any birth defects or complications of the baby since no matter what, we would keep her. She was ours and we would love and keep her regardless of any complications she could or couldn’t have. And there were no signs that we should test for anything anyway, so we enjoyed the nine months I was pregnant, knowing and expecting everything was fine. To this day, I don’t regret at all, our decision to refuse testing. It all happened the way it was suppose to and I’m confident of that.